I’m not going to lie: since I became I mom, I’ve been watching an embarrassing amount of television. At first, I was defensive about it. But then I realize television was saving my sanity. The amount of writing I’ve been able to do since Clark became super active has significantly dwindled. And while my fingers long for the keyboard, my hands are holding a 23 pound infant. Television leaves my hands free. And, dammit, I love Netflix.
Imagine my adulation when I discovered that the TLC Network has generously allowed Netflix to showcase a ton of their content. Now, if only Bravo would get on board…
Here’s a list of TLC programming currently available for instant streaming on Netflix:
1. The Little Couple
Adorable, tiny love. A marriage between a doctor and a business man. So normal, yet so different. I love the Little Couple. Binge your heart out, ladies.
2. Todders & Tiaras
Okay, this one is so not my favorite. I’m really against pageantry and anything that makes little girls feel the need to sexify their image. Three year olds should not aspire to look like Oompah Loompah Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. #SORRYNOTSORRY.
3. Say Yes To The Dress
So much money, so many ungrateful bitches. Watch this when you’re feeling particularly smug with your life. Do not watch if you wish you had some extra dough; watching women waste $12K on a wedding dress will really blow your mind. Always have dessert on hand. You will have a meltdown.
4. Sister Wives
Care to share your husband with three other women? No? Care to learn about the crazies who do? Absolutely. Sister Wives will definitely feed your drama llama.
5. Hoarding: Buried Alive
I cannot watch this. Hoarding makes me anxious. However, some people love other people’s filth. If that’s you, Hoarding: Buried Alive will be your new favorite show.
6. Miami Ink
Watch people permanently alter their bodies with tattoos.
7. Wedded To Perfection
A husband and wife event planning team put together the perfect day. Blah, blah, blah.
8. 19 Kids & Counting
Religious fanatics. A million children. It will make your life seem normal. Promise.
9. My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding
A whole different level of weird.
10. Strange Sex
Interesting people who do interesting things behind closed doors. My personal guilty pleasure. It’s just too strange not to love.
11. My Strange Addiction
If the idea of people eating soap intrigues you, that’s only the beginning. This docudrama features individuals who have some remarkable habits.
12. My 600-lb Life
Feeling down about your body? There’s no way you won’t feel positively perfect after watching these fatties.
13. Extreme Couponing
Of all the weirdness on TLC, I find extreme couponers to be the worst kind of weird. Stockpiles? Ugh. Two steps away from hoarding, IMO.
14. The Tiniest Girl In The World
To make you grateful for that cranky, evil, yet perfect baby you’re currently soothing.
15. What Not To Wear
This show will save you from becoming frump-girl. In case you were wondering, pajama pants are not real pants.
16. Four Weddings
They should rename TLC: “The Wedding Channel”. Omergawd.
More unhealthy people doing bad things with their bodies.
18. Extreme Cheapskates
Dumpster diving frugalistas. Reusable toilet paper, anyone?
19. Long Island Medium
If you’re feeling superstitious and gullible.
20. Cake Boss
Satisfy your craving for all things sweet and Italian with Buddy and friends.
21. Mall Cops
Watch sad people with a power-complex patrol the Mall of America for thugs and drugs. They fight crime by calling in the real police. Sad.
22. The World’s Fattest Man
Put down the cheeseburger. Pick up a salad. One word: motivation.
23. Jon & Kate Plus Eight
Watch a marriage fall apart in a few seasons. Classic reality entertainment.
24. Say Yes To The Dress: Bridesmaids
Whatever. It’s not their day!
25. DC Cupcakes
Smart women doing nothing with their brains but making cupcakes. Slightly forgiven for the nonsense by donating a lot of projects to charity. And, okay, I’ll admit it: this show really makes me want to order some Georgetown Cupcakes!